KIDS Issue 1028 · September 11, 2024

When Work Goes Toxic

How you can escape an office that feels like a trap

When Work Goes Toxic
Anyone working in an office setting has experienced irritation and frustration. But when do those cross the line from minor conflicts to toxicity? How do you know when you’re the problem or when a boss or coworker is? We heard from three women in different kinds of difficult workplaces about the red flags, the escalations, and the messages they’d give their younger selves now

 

Micromanaged

Iwould have laughed if you’d told me in high school that I would willingly take on an office job. I wanted to be an exercise instructor. When a friendly neighbor helped me land an entry-level position in a medical billing office, I was nervous about whether I’d be able to handle the change in pace. But I was also excited about working normal hours with other frum women and receiving a regular paycheck. I knew that the job market was rough out there, and this was clearly a gift from Hashem.

On my first day, I got there 15 minutes early, full of enthusiasm. My manager, Leah, showed me around. The office looked so nice: an open space with pictures on the walls, and a pretty kitchen area. Leah quickly walked me around the different rooms, pointing out the main features and teams without stopping to introduce me to anyone. Soon, I was sitting down at my new computer and looking at the unfamiliar icons on the screen. Leah handed me a training booklet and told me that if I had any questions, I could email her. Then, as she turned to leave, she added, “Oh, one more thing you should be aware of. Your computer has a program installed that will send me a screenshot every ten minutes and notify me if there’s been no activity for a while.”

That sounded pretty invasive. But maybe it was normal? She’d said it so casually. How would I know what was normal there? So I sat down to get started. Big Brother would be watching me.

There was a long list of emails and a template to personalize and send to each one. Easy enough. So easy, in fact, that I got restless after approximately six minutes. But no break — Leah would know that I was giving up already, and how embarrassing would that be? So I kept going and waited impatiently for lunchtime.

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