A Modest Proposal: The Conversation Continues

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What do we gain by talking about tzniyus? The same style is completely refined on one person and borderline or even eye-catching on someone else. Analyzing hair length, nail polish, makeup, “tight”/ “loud”/ “colorful”/ words on clothing, “bad” or “good” styles, etc., etc., is missing the point. It doesn’t work, it doesn’t help, it doesn’t accomplish anything.

It could be argued that tzniyus discussions don’t accomplish much. Whatever can be said has already been said, and either you buy in and you’re working on this, or you’re ignoring the matter, drifting wherever fashion pulls, and not too interested in having your party disturbed.

But there’s a silent majority of women and girls who, while they perhaps find the strident tzniyus warrior tone discomfiting, want more and are open to hearing and growing. Those women deserve to have this conversation kept on the front burner.

Your examples sound like excerpts from a tzniyus list, and while I agree that they delineate details that should be addressed, you’re right that micromanaging tzniyus rarely achieves anything substantial. Furthermore, like half a dosage of antibiotics, dealing with the topic ineffectively is bound to cause more harm than help. Tzniyus is a middah, which means there’s no magic switch. If the foundation isn’t solid, whatever is built on top of it will be shaky.

A crucial step is conscious commitment. Let’s allow that yes, tzniyus is important; yes, we have a counter-position to the nutty world we live in; yes, I can be more connected.