Q

I’m a 34-year-old woman with a beautiful family, a satisfying career, and good friends. However, I’ve never felt happy. I know this is because of my difficult childhood, particularly my troubled relationship with my mother. I’ve asked my mother to go to therapy to work on her issues, but she doesn’t want to. I feel it will be very healing for both of us if my mother would explore her feelings and discover why she was always so angry. It would mean so much to me if she could acknowledge the hurt she caused me when I was growing up.

My therapist told me that she thinks my mom may have a personality disorder. She said that people like this rarely get better, even with therapy. Is that true? And if so, how will I ever be able to get over my pain?

A

IT seems to me that you came out of childhood with many strengths despite the pain you experienced — or possibly because of it!

Nonetheless, you point out that you’re plagued by chronic emotional pain and agitation. You believe that if you could develop a positive relationship with your mother, you would heal.