Before helping, ask yourself why you’re doing it
“My son left his homework on the counter (again), and I knew he’d be devastated when his rebbi asked for it. Despite my busy morning schedule, I hopped in the car and drove
across the city to bring it to him. I felt like such a good mommy. I hope he appreciates everything I do for him.”
A six-year-old has no concept of his mother’s day or life and therefore, while he may be happy his homework has magically turned up, he can’t appreciate what went into getting it there. What he can appreciate is that even when he neglects his responsibilities, things always work out for him.
“My husband has ADHD and constantly misplaces his car keys. Then he asks me for mine. But when I lend them to him, he loses them as well! Often, I don’t realize until it’s time to leave for work that my keys aren’t in their place. I’ll ask him where he put them, but he never remembers, and then I’m thrown into a panic.
“I know this sounds terrible, because Chaim’s forgetfulness isn’t his fault, but I decided last month that I could no longer give him my car keys.
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