Why doesn't my daughter want to start shidduchim?
our question has three aspects that need to be addressed: 1) your daughter, upon returning from seminary, is not interested in dating; 2) she has a friend whom you are not happy with, due to her values or lack thereof; and 3) your daughter seems interested only in having fun, but not in taking responsibility for her life.
In your story, all three seem intertwined. But it is important to treat these three issues as independent concerns.
need to ask a few questions regarding your first concern: Should every girl at age 18 should feel pressured to get married? Is every girl that age ready to take on the responsibilities of marriage? How many girls actually get married in the first year after seminary? Lastly, did someone who only got married four years later lose out?
There is a lot of talk about the “shidduch crisis.” This seems to be a major reason for the pressure to get married as early as possible. I am not convinced that the solution lies in earlier marriages. A few years ago, in the pages of this respectable publication, ideas were set forward to “solve” the problem. A popular opinion held that boys should also begin dating at an earlier age, to close the gap.
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