We need to validate our kids’ negative emotions, but also teach them to express them appropriately
There was a time when parents virtually ignored their children’s feelings, focusing on instilling correct behavior and values. If a child expressed anger to a parent, the parent might say, “Don’t speak to me like that, young lady!” This might be followed by punishing the behavior.
The child soon learned to keep her angry feelings to herself, possibly internalizing that she and/or her feelings are bad.
Enter the new era. Parents began learning the importance of healthy emotional expression. They learned that emotional intelligence fosters social, academic, professional, physical, mental, and personal well-being, and the key to developing this quality lies in identifying, naming, and accepting feelings.
Eager to give their children this advantage, parents learned how to pay attention to their children’s inner states, accepting the entire range of emotion, including those formerly thought of as “negative feelings” such as fear, anger, and sadness.
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