The Worst Article Ever

I’ll start with the worst orchestra ever. It was about 40 years ago, when Mordechai Ben David was a rising star, invited to a particular city in the US where he was guaranteed a professional backup orchestra. Nowadays, when traveling to a different city, the performer usually brings his favorite keyboard player to guide the orchestra. But back then, he was at the mercy of the band they provided — and it was a no-go. The musicians were a group of rag-tag high school students who couldn’t get synchronized, and after trying one song with them, he threw up his hands, apologized to the audience, and said he would come back in a few months to do a make-up concert. True to his word, the two of us returned few months later, with a proper band and producer (me), and it became a night to remember.

The worst band-audience ratio? That had to have been back around 1984, when a producer came up with an idea to create a symphony orchestra called the Boro Park Y Philharmonic. These were people who had regular jobs, but they also enjoyed getting together once a week and play their instruments. Now, most people would not be interested in going to such a concert, which they assume would be a gathering of amateurs. In the end, there were more people onstage than in the audience — but it was their loss. The orchestra was amazing. It was conducted by Hershel Lebowitz, and the few who were lucky enough to attend had a great time.

The worst post-concert fiasco goes, hands down, to the 2004 fourth annual concert for Haazinu, an organization for hearing-impaired children. The organization made a deal with a parking lot nearby for a reduced parking rate for its concert goers, but for some reason, the lot management hired just two men to be responsible for returning a few hundred cars.

Now, while the show was unforgettable, headlined by Avraham Fried, the chaos that took place on that cold,20-degree night as people shivered, waiting for their vehicles while their extremities froze, was equally unforgettable. People were waiting close to two hours for their cars. One person was smart enough to take a taxi back home to Brooklyn, and came to pick up his car the next day.